Friday, September 1, 2017

Back to School and One Punching the Heat

Ew, school, I know, super lame, right? I'm sure all of you are dragging your feet through the hallways and lamenting about how bleak everything looks. But never fear! The ever reliable Anime Society is here, which means you can now look forward to a small ray of sunshine. We've compiled a few tips for getting back to school, reasons not to consider launching yourself into the sun (with the heat it feels like we're already in the sun anyway), and of course, ways to beat the giant flaming ball in the sky. It's time to One Punch away UV rays and depression!

To start with, sure, school sucks sometimes. That essay is painful to write, and your math homework wants to make you launch yourself into the void. But hey, there's a lot of things to look forward to.

  • Chilling with your friends: You get to see all of the friends you love so much. Summer gets busy, and we don't always get to spend as much time as we want with them. But now you get to be stuck in a classroom with them and make faces at them when they're presenting a serious powerpoint. 
  • Meeting all of your teachers: Honestly, I have loved almost every single teacher I've ever had, they're made big impacts on my life. And a lot of the teachers I have this year are really cool. So your teachers might seem boring or strict, but look forward to meeting the awesome ones!
  • Clubs: More specifically, Anime Society. That's right, shameless self-promotion, which I have a knack for. We're going to actually have consistent meetings this year, which means you can always come hang out with us to destress and watch some anime. Look forward to coming and relaxing with us, because we're looking forward to seeing all of you again. 
And now, for ways to prepare for the school year. We've all heard the drill or will hear it soon. But I'm going to give you my personal advice, that I think is just as valuable, if not more. Did I mention my ego is huge? Just throwing that out there. 
  • Organization: Super simple concept, we hear it everywhere, but very helpful. Have a place for everything. Folders on your computer. Everything in your binder. Last year I stuffed papers in my backpack, miraculously didn't lose any of them, but then turned them in covered in tea stain and crumpled up like me after Ceaser Zeppelli died. Hole punch them and put them in your binder, and don't lose anything. Lose your hand out and you might just lose everything. That sounds very official....
  • 5000 Pencils: I can guarantee you, no matter how many pens and pencils you have, if you bring them to school, you're bound to lose them. It will be the end of the school year with finals, and you will have half an eraser and something that vaguely resembles a wood chip with lead as you stand outside your classroom and gaze into the distance in sorrow. First of all, get a lot of pencils. Second, always keep a handful at home that you don't take with you. Third, hoard your pencils. Hoard them away from your friends and classmates like a dragon, and snatch them off of the floor. Pencils are as good as currency in school, start building your stash now
  • Urban Foxhole: Create an urban foxhole where you can do a variety of things. Your foxhole can be your room, kitchen, the library, a classroom, or an underground bunker. 
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    • Comfortably work on your homework. Have good lighting, a space you can focus, and plug away at that ten-page packet that has been haunting you. 
    • Prepare for the Apocolypse in the event that a natural disaster occurs, the dead start crawling from the ground, or a nuclear missile hits us and turns either the state or country into a vast radioactive wasteland. 
It's recommended that you stash snacks in your foxhole. I personally prefer pretzels and pemmican, as well as other survival based foods with indefinite shelf life. Personalize your fox hole in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Whether studying for a test or fighting fellow survivors for supplies, you want to feel at home in your safe space. 

Now, the important question is how do we avoid the flaming mass in the sky? Well, to be honest, you can't. All you can do is endure the scorching rays and hope that you don't pass out from heat stroke as you walk from classroom to classroom. Of course, you can prevent it by doing this:
  • Drinking water
  • Draping yourself over a fan or the AC
  • Praying for some sort of god to just release us from this suffering, please
  • Wearing cool clothes
  • Physically eject yourself into space, challenge the sun to a showdown, and then eliminate it with a single, powerful punch
  • Staying in cool places
  • Avoiding physical activities of any sort
  • Pretend that the heat doesn't exist, therefore global warming doesn't either
All of these are great ways to deal with the heat, hope they were helpful. The Anime Society will keep you updated on what's happening in the anime world, whether someone has finally defeated the sun, and of course the details on our meetings in the future. 

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~ Fight on sun warriors ~