Sunday, April 30, 2017

The Many Faces of Mr. Osomatsu

WARNING! This post does contain offensive humor, political references, and possibly triggering content. Do not read if you are... "sensitive." The Anime Society is not responsible for any butthurt people who didn't read our warning. 

Before we get into the beautiful Ososmatsu montage, let us take a moment to appreciate the fact that Mr. Flag gets a call from Obama. @Obama, we miss you. Come back. 

  • I would like to title this collection: Police Brutality. Observe the tear gas that permeates the air. 

  • I'm trying to pick up chicks but my family consists of earthworms, a piece meant to represent global warming. Obviously.

  • Third Wheeling in it's finest form. The best way to third wheel on a date is to make sure you can't possibly get in trouble. To do this, you need to make sure the can't yell at or hurt you. They can't do that if you're on fire, now can they? 

  • I forgot to do the dishes and now I'm going to be murdered by my family. Please send help. Possibly the most relatable and terrifying of all my masterpieces. 

  • When your friend is presenting a project in class because god knows we can't sit quietly and be supportive. No, we need to make them laugh and mess up beyond repair. 

  • Your friend does weird things in his sleep... Do we need to talk? 

  • This collection is titled I'm babysitting a friggin demon, as it demonstrates the horrors of children, and how they are basically satanic beasts that should be banished to another dimension. Clap if you agree. 

Post-56 hour Oprah marathon and I apparently have faith in humanity. Anyone who watches Oprah for more than 2 hours and is still a bitter person deserves an award because salt after purification requires dedication and willpower.


  • Ichimatsu is secretly a furry. Do I even need to explain? 

  • The next light novel title, I joined a biker gang and now I'm regretting every choice I've ever made up to this point. Otherwise known as Mood Swings Galore. Also known as my life. 

Thinking you made a great clothing purchase, but regretting it for the rest of your life. Those pants have left scars. Never forget.

The President accidentally nuked Wisconsin. He fired the chief operator and didn't know how to set coordinate.

To jump or not to jump
. Depends. Is Season 2 of Yuri on Ice worth it?

Someone once suggested I try to marathon One Piece. Don't bother trying to talk to them, they don't exist anymore. Such a fool...

  • I got rid of your tacky glasses for you. You're welcome. 

  • Math in a nutshell. Stress. Confusion. Shapes. How many shapes? Do I care? No. 

  • Anime is illegal in the U.S. 

  • Dear hipsters, go away, a piece representing that time when a hipster sat next to you and tried to start talking about drinks. I don't care about your chai, and I don't care about you. Please stop existing in the space around me. 

  • Santa isn't real. You know what else isn't real? Global warming. All of those conniving scientists, trying to dupe me. I'm too smart for that. And rich.

  • I'm really rich. In fact, I'm so rich, I make $100 bill puree and inject it straight into my bloodstream every morning just because I can. I also use $1000 bills to make bonfires on my private beaches. And I don't burn that money because of hyperinflation... 

  • Mr. President, North Korea has declared war. Would you like to negotiate calmly? *slams hand onto nuke button* No way in HELL!

  • After Breaking up with Tumblr. The emotional trauma of being without the one thing that can provide me with quality memes. 

  • Tumblr breaking into your home to kill you because NOBODY breaks up with Tumblr and gets away with it. 

  • Begging people in movies to kiss already because pisses you off that you've had to sit through 2 hours of them being oblivious and moronic airheads who don't even have the balls to tell someone how they feel. It's agony to watch them. If they weren't so self-aware and ignorant this stupid romance movie would've been over 90 minutes ago. 

Kind of a side note, I love how they immediately decided that they're just going to kill the guy that pissed them off. No hesitation, just bloodlust. 

And then they said it's been a while? How many people have these brothers killed?


  • Dear people who say they're going to go on a trip to find themselves when it's painfully obvious they're avoiding responsibility and being a self-entitled prick. We know exactly what's going through your head, don't even try to hide it from us. 

And that concludes The Many Faces of Mr. Osomatsu. Looking forward to another season. If we're all still alive and not suffering from radiation poisoning by the time it comes out...